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Unfair Game
Author: bloodsport
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(Added on Apr 2, 2011)
(This month 102495 readers) (Total 123846 readers) |
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A plane full of women are captured in Africa and then things get really bad... |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 2 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (6.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (7/10) |
| Highest
Rating: (7/10) |
| Lowest
Rating: (7/10) |
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| Reviewer:
JimmyJump
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 30, 2011 |
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Story keeps the reader's attention. I have to agree on what d1ll1gaf said about some areas being kinda rushed, so, taking more time in describing feelings and happenings wouldn't be a bad idea.
Oh, and try to leave spaces in-between paragraphs. One, big block of text doesn't read comfortably.
JJ (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
d1ll1gaf
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 12, 2011 |
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This story is a great improvement in writing style over the author's previous story as this story does not have the text overload in the previous story. However, the story still moves too fast with the with torture sessions barely lasting a couple of paragraphs per girl. It would benefit from a slowdown in the action to allow the reader formulate more detailed mental imagery. (7/10)
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