|
|
|
|
|
Jack - The Party (illustrated story)
Author: Bo Varg
|
| |
(Added on Sep 26, 2005)
(This month 76771 readers) (Total 133481 readers) |
| |
Jack's biggest client, Alf Cleghorn invites the BDSM-society to a garden party where he is going to introduce his new found sex slave and her daughter to the society, but something goes terribly wrong at the party |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 5 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| 1 |
2 |
3 |
4 |
5 |
6 |
7 |
8 |
9 |
10 |
| 0% |
0% |
20% |
0% |
20% |
60% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
|
Weighed
Average (?):  (5.5/10) |
| Average
Rating: (5.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (6/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (3/10) |
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
nikita
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 20, 2006 |
| |
The illustrations were good and I followed the story better by looking at the piccies. The most important thing you must do is to get a new editor. (6/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
chksng19
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 1, 2006 |
| |
Is English your second language? The story seems to say so. Many, many spelling and "wrong word" errors; you need an editor, badly. (3/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
heycarrieanne
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 26, 2005 |
| |
So-so writing, needs a lot of improvement in plot development, and grammar. Also, that switching fonts was kind of annoying, too. (5/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
La Toya
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 26, 2005 |
| |
A Fair start, would have liked a little longer first chapter. (6/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
bdsmbill
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 26, 2005 |
| |
This was an interesting start, but it would be better if you made your installments somewhat longer. 9K is a bit short. (6/10)
|
|
|
About 